Why Nerds are Unpopular

Because we know the difference between a "nerd" and a "geek". Because we know not to capitalize the "a" in "are" when it's in a title. Because of the vast left wing media conspiracy* .

Some guy named Paul Graham says this about school:

...The most important thing was to stay on the premises. While there, the authorities fed you, prevented overt violence, and made some effort to teach you something. But beyond that they didn't want to have too much to do with the kids. Like prison wardens, the teachers mostly left us to ourselves. And, like prisoners, the culture we created was barbaric.

...

Paul has some issues, but it's hard to argue with that description. Read the whole thing if you like. If you like it, don't miss his followup. All I can say is that my highschool had some problems, sure, but it was nothing like he describes. It's sad to think about, really. For me Junior High was much worse than highschool, but not unbearably so.

We definitely had social groups in my highschool, but there wasn't much picking on of people that went on, at least not to my eyes which, granted, were usually glazed over or cashed (or both).

I find Paul's recounting of the lunchroom map of popularity he drew as a kid funny because an old buddy of mine drew a similar map of the parking lot. There was Hugerville, where the rednecks parked their trucks, slugged beer, and got in fights with each other (yes, this was before school and on school property). Jerryland (I think that was the name) for the stoners/hippies (my highschool was mostly stoners and hippies). Yes, The Grateful Dead was still a band when I was in highschool. I saw them for the first time, 5 shows before their last, in Pittsburgh.

I forget the rest of the map places except for one. Please list some more if you remember them, anyone.

I parked in Jackson Park, with all the smart or dorky kids. It was also the closest part to the school. I just thought the other kids were dumb for parking elsewhere. It wouldn't have surprised me as the average intelligence in my highschool was about that of the gravel we parked over, when it wasn't covered in used condoms. At least they were using condoms, damn.

It never occurred to me that they may have been parking farther away deliberately for popularity reasons, like taking the backseat of the bus.

This reminds me of a TREK story. This was the semi-snooty "gifted" kids program we had in grade school. Me, RCR, and JB were partners in crime/friends even then, and ran in an exclusive three-person pack we modestly called The Stud Club (yamma-yamma-yamma-yamma). You couldn't join unless you had a Swatch, with a guard, and were one of the three of us.

Anyway, we were on some field trip with all the kids from the other days (we had Wednesdays) and I littered some trash out the window. I'm sorry for littering, but I'm not sorry for what happened next.

We weren't cool enough to get the backseat, so we got the 4th or 5th to the back. This really pissed me off. We were used to being the cool kids in TREK afterall (they actually just got on the bus before we did, but location is status in the schoolkid bus situation). Who were these interlopers stealing our thunder? They were extremely loud, would hurl insults at you if you looked at them, and were literally rocking the bus. I simultaneously hated and admired them.

One of the teachers charged on the bus and started yelling about how high the fine is for littering in the state of Ohio, blah, blah. Well the whole bus turned around to look at the kids who did this, the ones at the back of the bus. Our row was furthest up in the "bad" category, the dividing line. We were just barely cool in the new pecking order! We could deal with that!

I was secretly happy with my newly defined "bad status", but I was sure the teacher knew where it really came from and was just seeing if we would fess up (kids think the stupidest things), so I just wanted to blend in and hoped the punishment wouldn't be too bad.

You know the pose. She had one hand on her hip, the other fiercely wagging her crooked finger while she spat verbal abuse at us. I remember this distinctly. A brilliant plan formed in my understimulated mind and I turned around and looked at the kids behind us too. And then the others in my row followed my lead (we all knew I did it). I'll give those jerks behind us credit for not ratting me out.

The intervening rows directly behind us did it too, until it was only the last two rows who were getting stared at. It turns out one of the ones who got in trouble was The Roommate, before I met him. I wouldn't really meet him for about 5 more years, when we were 15 the summer before highschool started. Haha! But seriously, they were jerks. They deserved it.

And in response to the title, I'll just go ahead and say "Because they're you" so we avoid the unpleasantness of pretending to laugh at lame jokes.

*The vast leftwing media conspiracy will now be making regular appearances on The Logan Scribe, just because it's a total dick and that's what it does.