Why I Listen to NPR

Hello, my name is The Logan Scribe, and I am an NPR-aholic.

I've been asked from numerous sources why I listen to so much NPR, so I thought I'd answer them all here.

There are a variety of reasons. Lack of good music on the radio, lack of good music in CD form, and genuine interest in the subject matter. But mostly it's the hypnotic effect some have alluded to.

It's just so... comfortable. It's all rather seamless and if I listen to music on the way to/from work, it just underlines the passage of time, what with all the song changes and commercial breaks forcing me to hunt around for something again and again and again... but NPR is always your friend, steady and informative and easily ignored. The volume doesn't jump up 20 decibels for commercials because there aren't any, and usually I'm just lost in thought anyway (it's almost always about women, food or alcohol).

A friend (Pouty) came over one weekend and asked what I was listening to. It was the nightly run of BBC WorldNews that Michigan Public Radio does. He rolled his eyes and went off to steal more of my redbull, but I had to explain that I wasn't actually listening to it. It was background noise. British people talking at a volume just low enough so you can't make out the articulation is music.

Listening to NPR also brings the bonus of always being informed about the major news stories of the day, and gives you plenty of fodder for obscure conversation starters. For instance, I can't overstate how entertaining the show This American Life can be, especially on long drives. It's no surprise that a story about a kid who was so scared about getting in trouble at school, he poured gasoline all over himself and set himself afire in the shower will make an hour drive pass by in a blink. Remember, no breaks and no commercials, so it's all story. Every day I embark on a long drive -- twice -- so I utilize this resource to its fullest.

I like jazz now. I prefer the old standards. I never would have known that without Chicago Public Radio. It makes for great low level background music.

I ought to address the bias on NPR, while I'm on the subject. I've been told by my right winger friends (I have a few) that listening to the lefty claptrap that comes out of NPR is making me soft. I've had lefty friends (I have lots more of these) ask how a conservative like me can stand something other than FoxNews. Funny, huh?

My good friends know I'm an avowed centrist, almost to a fault. A small "l" libertarian is a close approximation of my views, as it indicates I sympathize mostly with the Libertarian Party platform, but think the actual party itself is run by ninnies. Still, I voted for Badnarik, the nutcase the Libertarians ran for Prez. Even Bush would be a better President than Badnarik, but I voted for him anyway. I know I should have voted for Kerry, but Illinois was going to him anyway, and I just refused to endorse such a horrible candidate. Democrats, you have to do better than that. You can. Roosevelt, Truman, Clinton. Come on. Sorry.

So anyway, I have a standard response to the NPR-is-lefty-claptrap charge: it's obvious on its face that NPR is run by leftists and their bias does come through, but they make an honest effort to be fair. And in my opinion, succeed in the vast majority of cases. The news is presented completely fairly almost all of the time, just like Brit Hume or one of those hot blonde ladies on FoxNews. Whoops, just lost my audience. See, this is what gets me called names from both sides.

Please note that NPR as a whole is much fairer than FoxNews, otherwise I wouldn't listen to it. I ignore Air America for the same reason, it's as thoughtful as a Bill O'Reilly diatribe but without the eloquence. Let me say it again so we're all clear on this: I am not saying NPR and FoxNews are anything close to equivalent. I'm just pointing out the difference between some hot lady reading standard news off a teleprompter and Bill O'Reilly.

I may as well bring up the fund drives too. These are annoying, though they've done an excellent job of minimizing the inconvenience. I don't donate anything. I am the douchebag they're complaining about during the fund drive. The Chicago Public Radio people have statistics they bring out every drive and they know less than 1 in 10 of their listeners are donating anything. But you know what? I donate to the homeless/Katrina shelter. The Salvation Army gets a wad of 20's every Christmas, and so does The Humane Society if I remember to do it. If one tenth of Chicago Public Radio's audience can support them, and is willing to do it, then why should I send them anything? They have deep enough pockets that they don't need my help.

And now, tacos.