Training Day

So I'm in line for our free "congratulations, your company paid for training" lunch when I strike up a conversation with the lone hot girl in the 2 day session. It's all people from my company and I can't believe there's a girl this hot at my site who I don't know about. It defies all logic.

As we discover that our lunch had been scarfed by unrelated people in this huge office complex we're in, she informs me that she's from Orlando. Well that explains a few things. Like the tan, the flat belly, and the jolly disposition. Not one to waste goodwill, I invite her to join me for the impending postlunch labs as we head to the deli around the corner.

The only other female in the class is so old her grandchildren can drink (she said this). The Logan Scribe landed the most coveted lab partner in the room! Engineer guys are so jealous they're pushing their bifocals up while they post about it on Slashdot.

Not only is she young and hot, she's smart as a whip and funny. I'm basically in love with her, 'cept for that damn rock on her finger. Unlike Florida we have morales in the midwest, and the engagement ring is a respected icon, dammit. I won't mention that I didn't see a wedding band if you don't.

I thought I'd play the sympathy card and mentioned that I worked in the basement of a windowless building for 2 years (I now work on the glorious second floor of the same building). She laughed and said she'd worked in a locked 10X10 ft room with another person for a year, the kind of room where you pull the harddrive out of the computer when you leave for the day and lock it in a safe with security present. Damn!

What cracks me up about the whole situation is not my inability to make any meaningful progress with a woman (that's what you guys laugh about). It's that she can't understand directions for shit. I mean, how many times do you have to say, turn right out of the place, go over the interstate, and then turn left. This went on for an hour. I drew pictures. I showed her on google maps. She still didn't get it. She simply had no idea what I was talking about. I finally had to lead her there with my car.

30 minutes earlier she was rattling off a hexstream of initialization bits that would curl Nikola Tesla's toes.

[sigh]